I am so stressed...Just took this online test in Ate Caren's blog and this came out. Just trying to kill time before another day begins, another day...

Black

Your color is black. The color of night. Serene and mysterious, black conjures up images of elegant evening gowns, dashing tuxedos, and gleaming limousines. Traditionally a symbol of success, black also represents power and an uncompromising demand for perfection. Not surprisingly, you tend to set challenging goals for yourself and do whatever it takes to achieve them — your strength of character is second to none. This unfaltering determination, along with your natural elegance, impresses people. But keep in mind that your personality might be intimidating to some. Try to temper your demanding side with a little softness — trust us, it won't kill you. Overall, though, black is the color of professionalism and achievement, which means it's clearly the color for you.

It's the new year and I have a new template for my almost forgotten blog. I miss writing entries here. It seems so alien to me now. It seems like it would be proper for me to write something long, substantial and "gistly" ( I don't know if its even a word, probably not), but somehow I don't want to. Maybe it's because I've lived too short a life to be summarizing yet. Maybe it's because I can't think of anything to write. I don't know, life's filled with too much "maybes" to be thinking about them too much. That's what made Captain Marvel go nuts in the first place. Cosmic awareness has to be one of the best and worst powers one could ever get. You get to see all the possibilities as well as all the repercussions of each one.

But I will tell you this, I am happy. I've never being this happy in a long time. I'm happy for some obvious reasons and perhaps because I have learned to enjoy life, to love life. I have learned that life maybe a pain in the ass sometimes if not most of the time and if I let myself wallow in that kind of reasoning or philosophy I might as well shoot myself because there is no point because I don't get to live anyway. My stubborness becomes a hinderance to my happiness.

Whats the point of life? of everything? Some people work their asses off to try to get a shot at the bigtime, some people get married and have kids, some people train their bodies so that they can pound the fuck out of everyone, and so on and so forth but in the end everyone of us will die. Everyone of us will be consumed by the very worms and ants we step on. Everyone of us will be but a memory immortalized in pictures and tombstones. So whats the point of all of this? The secret to life is not finding out what particular purpose you have in life but knowing that your purpose is to enjoy it as you know how. I believe that God didn't put me here to serve some sort of pre-determined purpose, that would be denying me of the very thing that separates me from animals which as theology or religion would teach us be free will. I believe that God put me here to enjoy it and it is my choice to do just that. It's as simple as that.

I am not saying that people who believe that they have a purpose or role in life are misled. What I'm driving at is that they are but mere ways, tools if you will that human beings employ to get to enjoy life because by doing so they get to enjoy life (that sounded redundant).

I remember writing a similar entry about this and if memory serves me correctly that one was about happiness being a choice. If you think about it, happiness much like love is a choice. It's a choice that you and I have to make.

Crap, I don't think I'm making sense anymore. The fatigue of playing basketball after a 6 month leave has gone to my head. My head feels so light it's like there's nothing inside hahaha. Anyway, as abrupt as this entry is gonna end...those are my two cents. I am happy and I will sleep.

Don't Worry Be Happy.

I am perplexed and quite frustrated. It's strange how sometimes, or perhaps most of the time I have so many thoughts, so mnay ideas. My brain gets so fired up, but when I try to put these down on paper...I end up with nothing. This will be one of those entries thats all about the randomness of my already cluttered mind.

I just finished watching Mad Tv, and fuck Triple H and Stone Cold Steve Austin are guests (yup, the wrestlers). But I gotta admit, Triple H was pretty funny. He played Harry Potter, with matching British accent pa!!! Hahahaha!!! Tang ina talaga !!!

It's already November, I can't believe I'm going back to school in a few days. I don't wanna go back yet, I didn't feel like going on a break that much. It felt like a fun weekend at most. I need more time to unwind and relax. I need to be a kid again, even for awhile.

I recently visited my lola's house in Batangas for All Saint's day, and frankly I was disappointed with how it changed so much over the years. It's not the same old homey farm it used to be. I remember when I was younger I couldn't wait to spend the day over in Batangas with my cousins and just play in farm. We used to let the chickens, pigs and kalabaws out just so we could piss the grown ups but my grandfather never got made at us for it. God, I remember mamay (that's how we call our grandfather) and how much fun it was sitting in the duyan with him doing nothing. He would always drop what he was doing in his farm and come meet me when I set foot in his land and He never forgot to always make sure I went home with suman. He was the only grandparent I was ever attached to.

The other day I was beside myself thinking about how much we are making our lives all the more difficult. If I remember correctly, the Philippines proposed to the UN that the debts of some of the poorest members should be cleared of their debt or a certain percentage of it and the UN agreed to the aforementioned proposal and executed it. But here's the thing, a lot of countries if not all are suffering from an economic problem one way or another. Even the high and might United States of America is no stranger to this. All nations have debts to be paid. All nations have the excrutiating duty to not only balance their current asses to make life easier for their inhabitants but to also make sure that a certain part of those assests are set aside to pay their debt. The Philippines is getting poorer and poorer everyday. If I'm not mistaken we are only paying the interest of what we owe every year. We don't have the resources to pay our debt and improve living conditions in our country. And I'm pretty sure, other countries are suffering the very same predicament and world leaders can't seem to come up with a solution. I know handling things in a national scale is no easy task more so in a worldwide perspective, but hear me out; there is a very simple solution. Why don't the world leaders just erase the debts incurred by the different countries? Let every nation in the world start from scratch. Let the nations lick their own wounds for a change. Let them worry about whats happening in their own territory before they go and help others. You can't expect a wounded soldier to protect his comrade if he can't properly stand on his own two feet. It would be pointless. It would be a joke. I think all of this is a joke because its actually that simple. They say that its not that easy or that there are certain procedures that must be followed. That's bullshit. If they can launch nuclear missles at other countries with a push of a button or declare war with a mere utterance, surely this should be just as easy if not easier. Life isn't supposed to be run by its complexities and red tape. So why doesn't anyone do away with the shit and all? Because as easy as it sounds, doing it would produce effects that ironically man can't do without. What is it? It's power, heirarchy, distinction. We live in a world of boundaries, of fences, which enable us to determine who is who. Doing away with such would put everyone on the same footing. And history and human character will let you know that it is something that was or is or has been and will forever be part of our way of life. There was a line uttered in a cartoon that I once watched..."History is like an endless waltz, it will forever repeat itself".

In the end we're more animal than we'd like to think, like animals we're programed to act in a certain way although admittedly in a more conscious level. Argh! So many thoughts, so many ideas and yet I am left with no answers...*Sigh*